


"I can throw up on a stripper anytime. Tonight I want to not throw up on you.”

by thenorthernwastrel



Category: Fable (Video Games), Fable 3 (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Drunkenness, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23294752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenorthernwastrel/pseuds/thenorthernwastrel
Summary: The Hero and Page help Ben after an indulgent dinner party.
Relationships: Ben Finn & Hero of Brightwall, Ben Finn & Page (Fable), Hero of Brightwall & Page & Ben Finn, Hero of Brightwall & Page (Fable), The Hero of Brightwall & Page (Fable)
Kudos: 2





	"I can throw up on a stripper anytime. Tonight I want to not throw up on you.”

"I can throw up on a stripper anytime. Tonight I want to not throw up on you.”

Page rolled her eyes. “That _isn’t_ what I meant—”  


“P-please,” Ben continued, “can we get out of the carriage? One more bump and all this effort is going to be in vain, all over the seat.” And _them_.  


The Hero yelled for the coachman to stop the carriage as soon as he could, and a few seconds later he did so. 

“Is there a problem, your majesty?” he asked once they had come to a complete halt.  


“No, one of my friends here just had a bit too much to drink. We’ll walk the rest of the way.”  


“ _Walk_?” The man sounded incredulous. The monarch _walking_ back to their castle? In the middle of the night? Then again they were a Hero… They went on adventures all the time, this shouldn’t be completely unexpected.  


“Yes, walk. Don’t worry we’ll be fine–We’re only a little while away from the castle anyway. You have your orders, sir.”  


Of course, walking proved to be _slightly_ better for Ben Finn, but altogether more unpleasant for the other two.

“You know,” Ben started between groans, “I could have walked myself back—You two could have ridden back no problem.” He made another heaving noise, and the other two distanced their feet from his as much as they could while still balancing his weight between them.  


“No offense Ben, but I definitely do **not** think you could have done that,” Page grunted as she tried to move half his weight.  


The Hero nodded, seeming to have no trouble managing his weight, but having to focus on balancing his body properly. “You can barely walk with the two of us here to help, either way I wouldn’t want you trying it alone. The roads may be less dangerous now, but contrary to what you _boast_ , you’re a _terrible_ shot when drunk.” Page snickered at their comment, wondering when exactly _that_ had been proven.  


“Y’know, I’m starting to think it was something I _ate_ , not something I drank.” Considering he seemed to have no trouble speaking, his idea was plausible–and suddenly the Hero noticed he’d broken out in a cold sweat.  


But they didn’t want Page or Ben to worry, and the carriage was long gone now, _and_ they only had a little way to go…

Of course, Page was always perceptive and had noticed the same thing. “Don’t worry soldier, we’re almost there. Think you can keep it down just a little while longer?”

“ _No_ ,” he heaved again; his arms’ grip on the other two was beginning to falter.  


“If you pass out we are _not_ carrying you,” she winked at the Hero, knowing very well they/ would carry him if it came down to it–in fact, carrying him would likely be less trouble, “so just hang in there, all right? One foot at a time.”  


It was apparent he was trying his best, looking down at his feet intently and trying to carefully plant each step, but he quickly began to falter.

Suddenly, he lurched forward and pushed the other two away, running toward the bushes on the side of the road but nearly falling sideways from vertigo. They heard the now-familiar sound of him gagging, followed by wet vomit, followed by the thud of his body hitting the floor.

The Hero sighed, and looked to Page. No doubt Ben had not only ruined the shrubbery, but his _suit_ as well. There was no way they were carrying him _now_.

“Well, looks like plan B,” Page sighed.  


“Yep,” the Hero mimicked her sigh, and began walking toward their friend. “At least now we only have _half_ a mile to drag him.”


End file.
